I'm in the Czech Republic. This weekend I went to Oxford and saw where C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien drank pints and discussed their  world. I'm going to the Czech Republic to see a graveyard and the exhibit on Alphonses Mucho and maybe some scummy underbellies of the former USSR. And then it's back to work which is good because I've been antsy being out of studio for so long.
This last semester has been infinitely better than last. I've also had more alone time and a lot of time to think about my future post graduation. Hahaha, of course you know my plans have changed a little from last time. Each time I do one of these blog posts, some change happens in my idea of what the future holds. It's not wishwashiness though. I think, I hope that I'm tightening my focus and understanding on what I want to do.
Counter to this assertion let me tell you how my scope has widened to a vast and unmanageable degree, or rather I've been reminded how vast it has been all along.. My plans have been muddied. There's still so much of the world I want to see. I think primarily I want to live a fantastic life. In all this talk about art etc, I may do a lot of talking about wanting to do something great, create something meaningful, but at the heart of it, I really just want to go on an adventure. I want to see the whole world. I can't be satisfied with graduating, moving to some city and then spending the next years of my life living there building a career. There's still so much out there to see. I don't know how to make that work.  
        With that in mind I've decided against further education because I want to get out of academia and see the real world and get a job. Plus, while I would like to get my masters and possibly teach or work as a Creative Director, thats something I can do later in my life when I require more stability. I have a lot of freedom right now. This is the time to do more travelling, and pursue more "fine art"/indy things. I'm considering living in a developing country where the cost of living is much lower.
This wanderlust of course also seems to run counter to my own desires for relationship. Both romantic and friendship. It's been good to be alone this semester. Alone not because I'm amongst people and feel no connection but rather literally alone because I'm a s stranger in a strange land. There isn't the same cognitive dissonance of being around people and feeling disconnected. I'm happier to work, and read, eat, and play video games. I do still finding myself wishing I could share these things with someone. If I've learned anything from last semester its that the opposite isn't the solution though.
It's not just wanderlust. It's that I don't want to be stuck with one medium or venue. I want to do illustration yeah. But also movies, books, video games and a whole bunch of other things. I want to tell stories in so many ways.  Let me tell you about that real quick. A new development.  
This past week I went to a gamejam called Mollyjam. It was a jam based off a parody twitter account … its complicated to explain. Just look it up.
A gamejam is a thing where people get together to make a video game in 48 hours. The cool thing about the jam was the focus on playfulness and art. It had a sincere kind of joking to it. The ideas are really silly. Like really really bizarre. Things like "Games should be about emotions. Make one where you are a pigeon trying to save businessmen from jumping off  roofs" or  "A two player game in which one player is the road and the other is the car. Who wins?" They're weird… but kind of cool, you know? Nobody took themselves too seriously, and yet people also really cared about the medium and making sure it could become something meaningful and emotionally important.
I think this is what I want to do most. I first got into art because I played Super Mario World and wanted to make my own game. Somewhere a long the way I gave it up as unrealistic. This entire semester I've been thinking about this. I think it might actually could be something I could do.
I don't want to be a concept artist, or just some guy churning out background elements for Bethesda. I'm not talking about AAA blockbuster games.  Working as an independent designer could work. Someone who leads a small team. Basically my Creative Director idea but broadened to another industry. I'm currently in the process of doing some small projects with some people. Going to the jam gave me a much better idea of how to go about this. Also, I made more contacts and industry related friends in 24 hours than I had in my entire life. I had pints with guys who were making their living making games. Hell, I met the guy who made Black and White and Fable. It might just be possible.
I've been frustrated with the art scene a lot. I've always been but being in the heart of it has heightened that. The winds are changing though. The old guard is falling away. Things like the internet are pulling away the old gatekeepers. I want to be there when it happens. I see games as a great way of reconnecting people with art.
The Slade School has a huge focus on contemporary fine art. Strangely enough, despite my feelings about the current state of the art world, I've actually fallen more in love with the idea of fine art studio work. I like the freedom of developing my own vision and visual language. This semester has been a giant leap for me understanding my own visual voice and the ideas that I want to convey and the themes I want to work with.
        I was nominated by my school to apply for a summer program at Yale. I didn't get in, but getting nominated was cool. I have other good plans this summer anyway.
The common theme through all these things is that I want my own freedom and autonomy. I don't want to be a professional in the machine. I want to make the films, the art, the games, the stories that I want to make. I want to do something I believe in.

Don't forget to check out my blog here: drunkenyear.tumblr.com to see all the newest things. I finished my writing challenge and now its more of a general thoughts and art blog. Process photos and exciting stuff.

The game I made can be found and played here: [link]